I wish that the internet on my computer worked. Why must computers be such evil, kniving little machines? (I'm proud of myself because I just used the word kniving in a sentence. Hopefully I spelled it correctly.) Luckily, my roommates' computers still work, and so I must simply sneak in and use theirs while they are out and about. Thanks roomies!

Tonight I looked at bridal magazines with Whitney. What fun! 50% of my household is engaged. That's quite a statistic! I never really thought about the extent of planning that goes into a wedding. It's a pretty big task. But I think it looks like fun. Maybe one day....but not today.

I am proud of myself because today I started studying for a test that isn't until FRIDAY! Holy cow! That is unheard of in this girl's world. But times are changing. Bad habits must be broken and replaced with good ones. Pray for my perserverance and hopefully, success.

I miss Ryan. He went home for the weekend for a wedding that didn't happen. I don't know all the details of the situation, but hopefully it will all work out for the best. He's also been doing some work with his dad and spending quality time with his family and friends in the Woodlands. As much as I miss him and would have loved to go with him, I really think he needed to make this trip on his own. He needed to be there for his friends, and I needed to be here. I had to work, which was the reason I didn't go in the first place, but we ended up being really short handed this weekend, and it would have been pretty bad if I was gone too.

Please pray for my friends Kristen and Ashleigh from work. Kristen's grandfather passed away on Wednesday, and it's been kind of hard on her and her family, especially her 15 year old brother. He knew his grandpa was in the hospital, but had no idea how serious things were. And my friend Ashleigh just had her first baby last night, a boy. As far as I know he's healthy and all, but he was born early due to some complications with the pregnancy. He had quit gaining weight and they thought the umbilical cord might be wrapped around his neck. Again, I don't know all the details, but he was delivered by c-section last night and weighed a little over 5 pounds. Ashleigh's husband has been deployed overseas for pretty much her entire pregnancy, but he was able to make it back in time to see his son born. So pray for them, that the baby will continue to be healthy and that Ashleigh will recover quickly, and that they will adjust well to being a family of 3.

Here's a happy note to end on: only 1 week until spring break!! Yay!!

Random thought for the day: 10 months from today is my 22nd birthday. I know. I'm pathetic. But I am ok with that. Why should I stop getting excited about birthdays just because I'm no longer a little kid? The child within will never die.

Today I had clinicals from 6:30am-4:30pm. Long day. Only 4 more to go!! This makes me happy. Today was exceptionally boring, as my patient spent the whole day lying in bed either sleeping or watching TV. She never needed anything. Good for her, good for the nurse who had 5 other patients to deal with, bad for me, who spent the entire day wandering the floor looking for something, anything, to do. Sad day.

Happy thought: spring break is only 2 weeks away!! Yay!! Now I just have to come up with something fun & exciting to do during my week off. Hmmm...no clue.

So I'm really interested in going on this 10 day medical mission trip to Honduras this summer. This guy from ACU (can't remember his name...help me out Phyllis...he's all about Urugay...Jack something, I think) came to our class the other day and told us about it. Ever since last summer when I wasted away taking summer school and working while all my friends did awesome things all over the world, I've been determined that this summer I will do something worthwhile. And I've been especially interested in finding a mission trip to get involved in, preferably with a medical focus. I really haven't put a whole lot of effort into searching for such an opportunity, so I feel like ignoring this possibility would be ridiculous. My parents are all for me finding an opportunity to serve like that, but they're very concerned about the financial obligation involved. I think that if God opens up a door for me that is feasible in every other way, He will work the financial aspect out as well. So, yes, please pray for me in this. Pray that I will not let this opportunity pass me by without looking into, and that if this doesn't work out, God will show me other ways in which I can serve this summer.

Yesterday I went to church with Ryan at Beltway. I really enjoyed it. Obviously, the service was different from what I'm used to, but that didn't really even register much. I especially enjoyed the pastor's message. He talked about worship and how it's not about an assembly on Sunday mornings, it's about living your daily life in a way that brings glory to God. He suggested that worship is something that everyone does. It's not about if you worship, but what you worship, and the ways in which we spend our time and money is a reflection of what we worship. Wow. Not an easy thing for this girl to hear. When I think about where the vast majority of my time and money goes, I realize what a selfish, self-absorbed person I have become lately. Instead of spending my extra minutes here and there thanking God for the blessings he's put in my life, I complain about the things in my life that aren't exactly as I wish they were. Prayer has become an afterthought; something that is supposed to happen before I go to bed or before meals, but that has no real thought or emotion behind it. Setting aside time for Bible reading and meditation almost never occurs. Anyone who looked soley at my actions in day-to-day life would probably not describe me as a very worshipful person. This must change. Lately I've been realizing that I'm living my life so as to get the most out of it while putting as little effort as possible into it. It's starting to blow up in my face in every aspect of my life: my grades, my friendships, my relationship with Ryan, my walk with God. I'm sick of it. A change must occur. Now is the time for me to get past my empty promises to myself and everyone else in my life and make a real change. I know it will be worth the effort.

So I just tried to sign in to blogger with the wrong user name and password. Have you ever really thought about how many random passwords, numbers, etc. you have memorized? Sometimes the fact that I am able to remember so much really amazes me. Not that I remember stuff all the time. Certain people (cough...Ryan) seem to think I'm pretty forgetful. I think I have him fooled. I remember a lot more than I let on...

The mirror on my door is trying to fall off. This makes me sad. It fell off once before and as a result is now cracked. Luckily Michelle was there to catch it today when it tried to fall again. Silly mirror, just stay stuck to the door and life will be good.

So I've decided that fighting with Ryan is probably my least favorite thing to do. We've been doing kind of a lot of it the past few days. Mostly over dumb stuff regarding my dysfunctional girlfriend abilities. But I am working on my issues so hopefully things will get better. And really, I'm probably weird for thinking this, but I kind of like the fact that we have a close enough relationship to fight about things. I've never been one to let myself get close enough to people to share my real thoughts and opinions with them. I don't have a lot of experience fighting with people because I usually just go along with whatever will keep the peace. But I'm realizing now that by doing that I'm selling myself short. Yeah, it may be easier, but it also makes for some pretty shallow relationships. So that's dumb. And I'd much rather take the random crappy fighting times along with the usual fabulousness than be without any of it.

So I have this dilemma in my life. I like to eat ice, but every time I do, my mouth gets all cold and numb and I can't talk right. So I tell myself that next time I'll stop eating the ice before I get to that point, but I never do. It's a never-ending cycle of ice eating and mouth numbness. I don't know what to do. I think maybe I need professional help. The end.

Whitney is engaged!! Yay!!

Out of Control

So isn't it funny how you can think you have things all planned out, and then all of a sudden life throws you a huge curve ball? Maybe not so much funny "ha ha," but funny "holy cow, what is going on in my life and what happens next?" So last May I moved into this fabulous house with my 3 fabulous roommates in anticipation of 2 fabulous years of nursing school and no plans of meeting any fabulous boys. All went according to my fabulous little plan until about the first week of school. This incredibly amazing boy just showed up in my life and completely swept me off my feet. I quickly realized that I could definitely work this into my plan, no problem. So the rest of my plan continued to be playing out nicely until the realization that the marriage of one of my roommates before the end of next school year might disrupt the housing situation. But again, I tweaked my plan a bit, and all was well with the world. Until another roommate announced plans of marriage before the end of next year. Things started getting slightly overwhelming. And continued. In summary, I am currently facing 2 roommate weddings in August of this year, moving out of my dearly loved house in May, & searching for an alternative place of residence with my remaining roommate. On top of that, things with me and the boy have gotten more serious, and I honestly don't know what to expect from that in the next year or so. Basically, I am learning that I do not have complete control over the situations in my life, and that drives me nuts. However, I also know that there is someone much bigger than me who is in control and who can see the big picture where I can only see what's right now. I just have to trust that He will work things out the way they need to be. Not an easy lesson for me.