Sometimes, you just need a hug.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
I am feeling a bit purposeless lately. I go to work my 3 days a week, but the other 4 are pretty much spent loafing around the apartment getting nothing of consequence accomplished. In theory, it seems desirable to have 4 glorious days of freedom, without responsibility or obligation. However, in practice, it is not a fulfilling lifestyle. I get extremely bored and lonely, especially now that Charles has gotten into teaching full-swing.
I am super happy and proud of Charles. He got his job at Martin and his pouring his heart and soul into, just like he does with everything. I am sure he is a fantastic teacher. But I miss him. He leaves early for work every day (since we live forever away from his school) and comes home in the late afternoon. On days I work, I don't notice his long hours because I am pulling longer hours myself. But, on days like today, and yesterday, and the day before, when I am home, the days seem to drag on and on. Then, when he does come home, he still has things to do, because he is a teacher and that is the nature of his work. I realize this, but again, some things are easier to comprehend in theory than in practice. I cannot relate to having a job that follows me home. In nursing, I go, I do my thing, and I leave. Sure, I may occasionally think about a patient after I leave and wonder how they are doing, but I pretty much drop it all at the door on the way out each day. Charles does not have this luxury, and I must understand that. Instead, I usually whine to him about how much I miss him, and bug him about when he will be home, and get frustrated when I can't have his undivided attention. I am like a 2 year old. That is so unfair of me. I want him to be the best teacher that he can be, and that requires his attention both inside and outside the classroom.
So, basically, it comes down to the fact that I need to find something to do to fill my time so that I am not constantly annoying my husband and adding to the tremendous amount of stress he is already experiencing as a first-year teacher. Any suggestions?