life is weird right now.

i have been working insane numbers of hours lately, which is ok i guess, but it wears me out. i've been overly-emotional lately, which i feel is mostly justified due to current goings-on in my life, but could also be a result of exhaustion. school starts back in a week. it is my final semester, which is exciting and terrifying at the same time.

in the midst of my emotional confusion tonight, i picked up my bible and let the pages fall open where they might. it opened to the book of ecclesiastes. a book all about how meaningless the things of this life are. wow. isn't that just like God? right when i'm in the middle of a pity party for myself about how confusing my life is right now, he reminds me that there is a bigger picture than what i can see, and my fretting about it isn't going to change the fact that he's got it all under control. i think these verses pretty much sum up the gist of what i needed to hear:

"Consider what God has done:
Who can straighten
what he has made crooked?
When times are good, be happy;
but when times are bad, consider:
God has made the one
as well as the other.
Therefore, a man cannot discover
anything about his future."

Ecclesiastes 7:13-14

ok God. i hear you. i know i shouldn't be so concerned about the future. i know you've got it taken care of. so why is it still so hard?