God, where are you? Where is the light that's supposed to be at the end of this tunnel? I thought maybe I saw it, but right now, I'm in complete darkness. I'm hurting so bad. What am I supposed to do? I know I'm supposed to learn from my mistakes, but how can I when all I want to do is go back and fix them? Why can't we all just be born knowing how to live life? Why do lessons have to be so hard? Why do other people have to get hurt? I don't konw what to do anymore. I feel like I'm being torn in half. God, I know you're there somewhere. Please come find me and take this pain away from me. I can't do this by myself. I need you. Please hold me while I cry. Help me know that someday I will be happy again. And so will he. It will probably just have to be without me. That hurts to admit. Make it not so painful. Please...