Today was a day full of distractions. I think that is just the kind of day I needed it to be. My mom drove in from Arlington this morning to keep me company for the day. I'm not afraid to admit it: I still need my mommy. She took me out to lunch and was just there for me. We had some really good conversation. There was talk about Ryan, and my hurting, and my confusion, and my uncertainty about what the future holds. But there was also talk of completely random things. Things that took my mind of the pain and put a smile on my face.

I also got to see both of my wonderful brothers. I guess it's kind of sad that we all 3 live in the same city, yet rarely see each other. But I know that they love me and would do absolutely anything for me. That's a very nice knowlede to carry around with me. Oh, and I musn't forget my fabulous sister-in-law. She can always make me laugh. And, as we all know, laughter is the best medicine.

It's very hard for me to fight the urge to pick up the phone and call Ryan and tell him how much I miss him every second of the day. But I know that that would not be the healthiest of decisions right now. I have to learn how to be me by myself, dependent upon God alone.

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken."
~Psalm 62:5-6