So about a week ago, had you suggested to me that I stay in Abilene for a while after graduation, I probably would have looked at you like you just suggested I try my luck at professional wrestling. Not happening. All I have talked of for the past 4 years is getting out of this town as soon as possible. And yet, I now find myself inexplicably excited at the prospect of remaining here for at least another year.

Allow me to explain the rationale for such a drastic change of opinion on my part:

In all honesty, the thought of living and working in Abilene post-graduation never even occurred to me as a possibility until Ryan mentioned it on Sunday night. And I know it sounds like I'm only considering it because he is, but I promise that's not it. It seriously never even occurred to me to consider Abilene as an option. I had considered moving everywhere else in the state, but never staying put. Even when he first mentioned that he was thinking of staying, I still thought there was no way on earth you could convince me to do the same.

Flash forward to lunch on Monday. I was sitting at Bueno with Phyllis, and we were both lamenting the fact that we have major decisions ahead of us, and no clue how to go about making them. I jokingly suggested that I should just stay in Abilene and live with her and Megan. That way I could not have to say goodbye yet, and give myself a little more time to figure out where I want to end up. Well, I said it as a joke, but almost immediately after saying it, I started thinking seriously about what I had just suggested..

So Monday night I had dinner with Megan and divulged my secret contemplations to her. She immediately insisted that I carry these plans out. And, much to my surprise, I found that the more I talked about this "ridiculous" idea, the more it appealed to me. And the more sense it started making.

First of all, I really have no desire to move back home. I love my parents and all, but I feel like if I move back home, even if it's just for a few months to get myself on my feet, I won't feel like I've really established myself as my own person. And considering the cost of apartments in the Metroplex, moving straight into my own place is out of the question. Solution: Megan and Phyllis will be moving into a house, owned by Megan's parents, and will be in need of a 3rd roommate. This is ideal on so many levels: I love these girls to death, and living with them would be awesome; I miss living in a house; splitting bills 3 ways makes everything much more affordable; the house we are hoping to live in is across the alley from where my brother and his friends will probably be living; I won't be living at home.

Another appeal of Abilene: I have tons of friends here. As I began to seriously consider what moving back to the Metroplex would be like, I realized that it would mean basically starting over as far as the social life is concerned. Almost all of the people I hung out with in Arlington are no longer there, and most of them are now in Abilene. Now, I have nothing against making new friends and branching out. I think it's fun and exciting. But it's also kind of hard, and I think it might be a little much when combined with adjusting to life after college and being the new person at a job, not to mention starting a career. I feel like once I've been a nurse for a while and actually feel like I know what I'm doing, then I might be a little more ready to go somewhere completely new. But right now, I think having close friends that I know I can count on will be a definite help in adjusting to this huge transition. In the meantime, I can be working in a hospital that I'm vaguely familiar with, and saving up money for whatever the future brings.

Now, I'm not gonna lie. There is a significant appeal to the fact that Ryan may be here next year too. I don't know for sure if that will be the case or not, but if so, it would be awesome. I think that would take quite a bit of the pressure off of trying to figure out the future of our relationship. Mainly because, since we have only been dating again for about a month and a half, neither of us are at a place where we are ready to make any huge decisions. And I will admit that this is a subject I have been pressing lately, but not so much because it's one I'm ready to decide on, but because graduation is drawing nearer every day, and I just kind of wonder what that means. But if Ryan and I end up in the same place, we will have plenty of time to take this thing a day at a time. And if we don't end up in the same place, well, we'll figure that out too I suppose.

Anyway, in case you couldn't tell, I'm pretty excited about the way things are shaping up. I talked to the parents tonight about the possibilities, and they were very excited for me. This really is the first post-college option that has made me this excited. I feel like God has been hearing my prayers, and is answering them in ways I never even imagined. It seems He's a pretty big fan of the whole unpredictability thing, which definitely keeps life interesting. :)